I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
