I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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