That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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