And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
