As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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