I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
