I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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