She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
