I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
When are your genitals available?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
