I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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