She announced her abortion via fbk
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
