Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
