If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
