That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Never underestimate the power of titties
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
