:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
