Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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