sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
