Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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