He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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