I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she pinky promised me she was 18
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
