On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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