I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
