You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
