Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
