The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
