just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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