hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
