singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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