Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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