3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
