Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I didn't notice because vodka
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
