lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
