I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
