3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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