the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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