i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
