fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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