if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
