She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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