I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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