You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
