I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize