We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
