By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
