Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just had sex on a roof
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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