There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
