Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
