he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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