i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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