Pants 0. Shit 1.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
