: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
